Saturday, May 16, 2009

Ass-Backwards

My son is absolutely determined to enter the world ass-backwards. He was head-down at 37 weeks; and then on Wednesday I had such terrible pain from Braxton-Hicks and from massive, super-active fetal movement that I thought I might actually be going into labor; and on Thursday we went in for the 38 weeks position ultrasound ... and he had turned himself head-up! (Which is apparently what all that excruciating activity was.)

Flippy is in a frank breech position -- like a diver in the pike position, knees to nose. His butt is settled nice and low in my pelvis.

We went in this morning for Cephalic External Version, which is where they push on the abdomen from the outside, guided by ultrasound, and try to maneuver the baby into going back to head down. Flippy was quite happy to move his head and spine all around as directed by the doctor's pushing, but his butt is locked too firmly down in my pelvis and he just kept rotating on his ass. The doctor couldn't get him popped up, so the CEV was a flop (or at least definitely not a flip).

And, yes, the CEV was freaking painful (though not intolerable), and, yes, I now feel like I have been pummeled from the inside AND outside of my belly. So all I want to do is lie down ... and frantically prepare the house.

We weren't able to participate in our neighborhood garage sale today because we had to go in for the CEV, so I have a giant pile of STUFF I was planning to be rid of today that's, well, not gone. And a bunch of stuff around the house to do that I thought I'd have a couple more weeks to do, plus time recovering when I could sit still and do brainless tasks like sorting through old files.

Instead we're in a big hurry to get ready for a C-section for my ass-backwards son, which will occur earlier than anticipated, and then I'll have a longer and more difficult recovery than I'd hoped.

On the plus side, with enough frantic cleaning and frantic grading (to get all my grades turned in before the surgery), it's possible I can avoid thinking about the surgery until the last possible moment. I do not particularly cope well with sharp pointy objects, and if I were going to make a horror movie specifically to scare ME, it would definitely involve MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY WHILE I AM AWAKE. I honestly think this is one of the most horrifying ideas modern medicine has ever come up with, up there with the brain surgery where they cut your head open while you're awake, poke at things, and ask you to say if anything happens (they do this one all the time on House). I thought the medical establishment would never inflict anything worse on me personally than that eye-puff glaucoma test (*shudder*), BUT I WAS SO WRONG.

My friends are generally of the opinion that I've had such a difficult pregnancy, culminating in him turning breech at the last second, that he will be an absolute angel child. My family is generally of the opinion that Flippy is exerting his contrary streak early and will keep on as he's begun. Given that my husband and I both have contrary streaks a mile wide, I have a sneaking suspicion my family is right.

I have been threatening Flippy that on his birth announcements, instead of "Flippy McGee: born 10 a.m. on date at place," I'm going to change the wording to read, "Flippy McGee: entered the world ass-backwards at 10 a.m. on date at place," but he seems unimpressed.

10 comments:

Lynn said...

I'm so sorry to hear about all the troubles you're having, BUT I have to tell you, my son did the exact same thing. I also went in for a version, to no avail, they were only able to move him a few inches. You'd have thought he'd have moved, by the looks of the bruises on my belly afterwards. I had a c-section of course, because the version was unsuccessful, and I have to tell you, I am so happy it happened that way for me. I was up and around within 4-5 days. I went out for lunch with my mom when my son was 6 days old. So please, don't let all the horror stories about cesareans scare you. Not everyone has the trouble you always hear about. I wish I knew you personally so we could talk, and I could ease your mind some. Good luck! I hope yours goes as easy as mine did.

i do not know me said...

How about the classic "from the womb untimely ripped" for the birth announcements?

Anonymous said...

A c-section is not the desired outcome, but it is not horrible. Our first born son was face up and labor was not progressing-- so we had a semi-emergency c-section. My husband turned an interesting white/green shade when that happened. Longer recovery, but not terrible. Second son was a planned c-section and it went very smoothly.

Scarred abdomen -- but hopefully no bladder issues associated with v-birth in the future. And the idea of an episiotomy still freaks me out.

TMI. I know. I wish you the best.

Chase Ingersoll said...

I am proud to consider you as my post Oprah generations' Erma Bombeck.

You have become a "must-read".

Lisa said...

You don't know me but I've had 2 c-sections due to breech presentations and it wasn't bad (fear makes everything worse!). I didn't want them either and tried everything possible to avoid them (the surgeries, not the babies!!), but in the end it was like a party in the OR and I have lots of good memories.

The scar is almost unnoticeable and unless you're a fan of *very* tiny bikinis no one but your husband will ever see it. Advice (you're pregnant, so you should be used to unsolicited advice ;)): Stand up straight, all the way, however slowly you have to do it, the first time you stand up afterwards and every time thereafter. It will speed up your recovery tremendously. And take your pain meds *before* you start hurting (this will help you stand up straight).

And you know what? He could very well flip back over before your surgery. I assume you've been told about lying head-down on an inclined ironing board and putting a bag of frozen peas on his head, etc? (It only sounds like a joke, and it makes for great stories when they're older.)

Jenny said...

Dive into a deep pool.

Secret Server said...

You crack me up with the House brain surgery and glaucoma test comments. THOSE are super creepy procedures. Glad to see you are keeping your sense of humor. Honestly, I would have been better off with a C Section with my first one and was in the hospital 5 days after my vaginal delivery. You and Flippy will be fine and it seems you have wonderful friends and family to help you through this!

Micah Seymour said...

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

I had 2 C-Sections, and, let me tell, you, I'd do another one before I EVER will let anyone do the eye puff test again.

Congrats!

Jennifer West said...

I can't help but giggle about your latest post, "Panicking Needs Work". Mini McGee seems so active and fun. Hehe! Anyway, if I were in your sitch, I would just go for either, depending on what the doctor says. My sister gave birth to her three kids thru normal delivery and a year after, she considered labiaplasty before continued with her scuba diving activities in California.