Monday, January 26, 2009

It's a Boy! I Think It's Paul Bunyan, in Fact.

We learned at the 20-week ultrasound that Flippy is a boy. It would have been difficult NOT to learn it, since him was very proud of him's little penis, as I'm told boys often are on ultrasound. They're focusing in on his butt and I'm going, "Three lines or a snail? Three lines or a snail? Oh, that is DEFINITELY a snail!"

(Parents will know that three lines means it's a girl, a snail means it's a boy.)

We also learned that Flippy is, to use the technical medical term, GINORMOUS. At 20 weeks they estimated he weighed about a pound -- average at 20 weeks is 10.5 ounces. Uncool, Flippy! Uncool! (Apparently women with higher levels of education are more likely to have extremely large babies. I knew that second graduate degree was a mistake!) Everyone at the office also commented that he has the longest thigh bones they've ever seen. Flippy is definitely his father's son.

Which explains why I appear to be big. Upon finding out I'm about 4 1/2 months along, everyone says, "You're only four and a half months? You look SIX!" Part of this is because I'm short, only 5'2", so there's nowhere for Flippy to go but out. Part of this is because I'm gestating Paul Freakin' Bunyan in here, and Paul Freakin' Bunyan's father is 6'4". (And has a big head. I know. I've bought him hats.)

Which leads me to my first complaint about OTHER PEOPLE during pregnancy. I know that most things people say to pregnant women that come off as inane or annoying are just people making conversation. "You're so big!" isn't code for, "You whale," but code for "OMG you're pregnant!" So I'm cool with that. I'm starting to get a little neurotic when people point out I look six months along because I'm a little freaked out about having a ginormous baby, but I'm still trying to be cool.

But if ONE MORE PERSON tells me I'm eating too much or informs me I have gestational diabetes, I will scream. Seriously. (And what kind of obstetricians are you people going to that they don't make you pee in the cup to check for sugar every time you come within 30 yards of the building?) Some random lady in the supermarket sternly told me, "You're too big for four and a half months. You need to stop gaining so much weight. It isn't good for the baby." (Which is extra-awesome because not only is it almost-inconceivably rude, but because I'm still UNDER my pre-pregnancy weight due to the epic morning sickness, the December stomach flu, and Paul Freakin' Bunyan in here eating all my calories to fuel his constant flipping.)

I do finally understand, though, why my husband has the metabolism of a rabid squirrel*. It's been particularly irritating since I got pregnant since I'M the one over here creating life and HE'S the one sleeping 9 or 10 hours a night. I'm discovering it takes enormous amounts of calories and energy to sustain the constant Flipmotion of Mini-Mr.-McGee, so I guess it takes correspondingly more to sustain the full-size version of Mr. McGee.

All of this is good because it means Flippy is healthy and growing well, and that's really what's important here. However, if I end up in the national news as "Peoria Woman Gives Birth to 14-Pound Baby," I am going to be PISSED. OFF.


*Actually, squirrels don't really get rabies that much.


Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Is it just me or is Paul Bunyan starting to sound like a cool name for a kid? You could call him PB? No?

Congrats on the boy I have two boys and I think I would have stopped at one if I had the boy first instead of the girl : )

Dw3t-Hthr said...

Apparently women with higher levels of education are more likely to have extremely large babies.

Finally, a silver lining to getting thrown out of college. ;)

Lynn said...

Congratulations! Boys toys are so much more fun than girls!
I love reading your blog, and remembering all the exciting times of being pregnant.

Knight in Dragonland said...

I've seen three lines many times. Congratulations on your snail. :)

Ciara said...

Excuse me, dearest Mother McGee, but imho Flippy will just not do as a means of address for your dear wee one. Please, please choose something with more dignity. "Begin as you mean to go on." I think Venerable Bede would be a darling interim name. You could call him Bede for short. I really hope you will consider making a change in the direction of respect. Blessings on you. And on him. :-)

Ciara said...

Oh, and lady at the supermarket -- TOTALLY out of line. :mad:

Jennifer said...

People can be so damn rude! My kids are only a year apart, and whenever I was out and about with my infant son and obviously pregnant, to boot, my number one comment recieved was "Don't you know what causes that?"
I'm so happy that Flippy is well and I think you look adorable!

Joel Steinfeldt said...


Wanda (aka Metschick) said...

Congrats on the boy!

Oh, and about people's rudeness - please brace yourself. It gets worse after you have your kid. I've had so many people tell me what I should do with my daughter, I don't know how I haven't snapped. But I have perfected the art of nodding while saying "that's nice."

ComW said...

Thats not a flipper. Its one and a half flippers.

with extra fishfood.