Thursday, May 29, 2008

Our Friendship Can Get Its Own Drivers License

I was putting together a document for my best friend today, and I realized my best friend and I have been friends for SIXTEEN YEARS in August. Which I know is not a lot for some of you people who've had best friends since kindergarten, but the Illinois school district people unfortunately did not draw the district boundaries to put us in the same school until we went to high school, where we met on the VERY first day of school, on the bus, because we both loved the song "American Pie." And I mean, that was pretty much it, instant best friends. Like the way you are in kindergarten when you're both wearing purple shoes.

It something of a mismatch of opposites -- she's a fairly secular Jew, I'm a fairly devout Catholic; she's an only child, I'm one of four; one of us is big on the bottom and one is big on the top so we could NEVER share clothes; I was a band geek, she was a cheerleader (the least perky cheerleader EVER; she's generally a happy person and it was like she put on the uniform and started hating humanity, like it was an evil magic uniform or something); and despite four years of trying, she could NEVER teach me to shimmy. I mean, seriously, how hard can it be???? But I can't do it. At all.

I went on my first date with Mr. McGee on a Saturday, and she was the one I e-mailed on Sunday to tell her I was going to marry him, because only crazy people decide to marry someone after one date, so I certainly wasn't going to tell HIM that, or anyone ELSE that, but if you can't show your crazy to your best friend, who can you show it to?

So I IMed her to tell her our friendship would be 16 in August and old enough to get its own drivers license. (When we were 16, we were busy driving around town in my grey Olds Cutlass Ciera we'd nicknamed the "mirthmobile" and asking random motorists at stoplights if they had Grey Poupon. Why? Because we were idiots, like all teenagers, that's why.)

"I hope our friendship doesn't crash the car," quoth she.

I think it'll be okay, because it's been pretty responsible so far. But we probably shouldn't let it sing any more karaoke, because only bad things came of that.


Anonymous said...

and despite four years of trying, she could NEVER teach me to shimmy. I mean, seriously, how hard can it be???? But I can't do it. At all.

I know I don't comment much, with a challenge like that, I have to take a crack at this. Here's the way I used to tell my beginning bellydancers to do it, back when I taught.

Stand nice and straight, with your knees soft and your tailbone tucked just a bit, so that it's pointing towards the floor more than behind you. The tricky part is doing this without tensing up your glutes. But if you have "the dreaded duck-butt" happening, it won't work. And if you tense up your butt, stuff really won't shake.

Glue your feet to the floor. They cannot come off the floor. At all. Keep them that way. Now run in place. With your feet still glued to the floor.

Voila! You can make it smaller and subtler later, but that'll get you started. (I hope.)

I'm sorry I don't comment more often! But I do read your posts via RSS feed on LJ.

Jennifer said...

I'm going to have to try that mysterious shimmy method myself. I can't shimmy or do any other dance move with success. Unfortunately, though, I think my rear might shimmy on its own, any strong wind might be enough to get the junk a'movin'.

Not to play one-upmanship here, but while your friendship can drive a car, my friendship with MarySue (since 2nd grade) can guzzle beer, is probably pretty disillusioned by men and should really have started contributing to it's 401K a few years back.

Secret Server said...

I don't even know what a shimmy is. (I must embarrass you so, Jennifer, but you still love me anyway.) Congrats on your sweet 16 for your friendship.

Dan D. said...

I asked Mary Ann to marry me on the evening of our first date..and, two weeks ago we celebrated our 40th Wedding Anniversary. When it's know it..right Eyebrows?? Ya just know.