Monday, December 10, 2007


Peoria is iced over once again, and while the main streets are fine, the side streets are a bit scary, and driveways are downright dangerous. I had several students unable to make it to my Sunday final because they simply couldn't leave their driveways. My own driveway is a solid sheet of ice, which I discovered to my woe when I stepped out the back door, slipped, and went down face-first. All the way down. Bloody palms, nose-an-inch-from-the-ice, ouch-my-knees down. (Also, "dammit, why don't I ever zip my messenger bag closed, now it's all over the friggin' driveway" down.)

I can't recall falling that hard since college, when the steps outside South Dining Hall had an unfortunate tendency to ice over completely, and everyone fell at least once. That time I slipped and fell on my ass, which I'm told is preferable because your ass is padded for just such occurrences, while forward-falls tend to result in broken wrists and things.

One thing I could never help laughing hysterically at, even though it's not really funny and it makes me a bad person that I laughed at it, was when a group of people would be walking to the dining hall, one would slip, grab his neighbor's shoulder for support, and end up taking down all five of them. Also amusing was someone stopping to help someone up, and ending up going down on top of them. (First lesson of living in South Bend: When helping someone back up, stand on the SNOW.)

I know pratfalls are a low form of humor, but I just find them hysterical. I can watch "America's Funniest Home Videos" for HOURS, provided said videos don't involve children doing "cute" things but rather feature people being hit in the nads with golf clubs and people slipping off things and people falling down. Not only will I watch it, but I'll laugh until my abs hurt.

Too bad nobody was videotaping me going splat on the driveway. My abs need the exercise!


Diane Vespa said...

If there is such a thing as "kharma", I think you just gave yourself a bad dose of it. Lol!

Ms. PH said...

I agree with you Eyebrows - I could watch Funny Video shows for hours. Maybe it is the experience of law school that made us bitter and mean?

Anyway, I have to disagree about falling on your butt. The one bad fall I had on ice, I feel on my butt and bruised my tailbone so bad I had to sit on one of those doughnut pillows for a month. I'd rather have scraped hands any day.

Jennifer said...

A couple of winters ago my hubby slipped forward on the ice, caught himself with one hand, and the force of his hand hitting the ground, traveled up his arm and fractured the bone in his elbow. Ouch... Of course, that didn't stop us from teasing him-"What are you 80? slipping and breaking a bone???"

Josh said...

I read this and laughed out loud. I can picture the dining hall pile up.

Morton Malaise said...

This post makes me glad I went to college in an area of the country where the only ice at the dining hall EVER is in the drink dispensers.