Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Best! Vet Day! Ever!

Vet Day was actually last week when I was busy being very stuffy-headed and non-bloggy, but it went SO WELL that it deserves commemoration on the blog.

First, Orange Cat can only travel in the hard-sided carrier. If we put him in the soft-sided one, he panics and pees like crazy. Don't know why. As a general rule, Grey Cat prefers the soft-sided carrier (which we got because you can carry cats on planes that way -- Grey Cat LOVED the airplane), but last Tuesday, which was Vet Day, he crawled into the hard-sided carrier and refused to come out, making like he was going to bite me when I attempted it. Finally I gave in, put Orange Cat in there WITH HIM, and lugged all 40 lbs. of cat out to the car. (Which, incidentally, is much heavier when they're both in one carrier instead of 20 lbs. on each side!)

Wait, wait -- why was Eyebrows lugging cats to the vet when after last year's complete fiasco, Mr. McGee had promised to do so? Some judge wanted him to be in court or something, as if that's more important than taking cats to vets. I mean, seriously, people. </sarcasm> So I got stuck with them again.

It turns out that if Orange Cat is in the same carrier as Grey Cat, instead of yowling piteously the entire car ride (which he did for twelve hours per day on two consecutive days of driving when we moved from North Carolina to Illinois, the only relief coming when he actually lost his voice somewhere on the Indiana Toll Road; I almost went mad), he curls up against Grey Cat and trembles and looks unhappy, but doesn't yowl. Grey Cat wasn't quite sure what to think about Orange Cat mashing up against him as hard as possible, but he didn't complain either. This was such a delightful discovery that if we ever have to drive cats further than the vet again, I am buying a puppy crate big enough for two cats!

Orange Cat is an angel at the vet. Orange Cat is the only reason vets let us come back. He gets weighed, gets examined, gets his shots without even flinching (he does have practice getting shots, after all). Orange Cat's glucose levels are perfect. Orange Cat is the perfect specimen of cathood in all possible ways. (Well, the perfect specimen of one-eyed diabetic tail-free tooth-missing cathood, anyway.)

Then we get to Grey Cat, the demon spawn who got us banned from our last vet by using the vet tech's head as a launch pad to the ceiling with all claws engaged. Grey Cat cannot be removed from the carrier. At. All. They finally have to take him and give him kitty laughing gas. He poops on the vet tech for spite -- but even this is awesome because they needed a stool sample! With him a little loopy from kitty laughing gas, he gets his first actual full examination in three entire years and because of that he's able to get the three-year rabies vax instead of the one year. The vet and I agree he doesn't really need to see Grey Cat on a yearly basis, so I don't have to take Grey Cat back until 2010! THIS IS CHAMPAGNE-WORTHY.

Grey Cat does earn a bright red sticker on the front of his medical record, though, that says "BITER." (I guess they do not have a sticker that says "POOPS FOR SPITE" or he would have two stickers.) "See that, Grey Cat?" I asked him. "That's your own personal Scarlet Letter because you are the worst-behaved cat EVER. Feel ashamed, you bad beast." (He didn't.)

I actually remember a check to pay for the rabies tags for the first time ever and I don't have to make a second trip later to pay for the tags. (You can pet the vet by credit card but the rabies tags come from PAWS and have to be paid by check even when you pay at the vet.) We go home. The vet tech even carries the 40 lbs. of cat in single carrier to the car for me.

So to recap the best vet visit ever: Orange Cat is healthy, I did not have to apologize to the vet a single time for my cats' behavior, neither I nor any vet employees ended up bleeding, nobody had to go to the ER, I remembered a check, Grey Cat does not have to go back until 2010, and NOBODY PEED ON ANYTHING.

I feel like having a party!


Sue said...

Just a thought...why not have the Vet make a house call? All Pets here in Peoria do and I have them come to the house for our dog. He's a Boxer and is more comfortable with the doctor and assistant here. Going to the vet and getting the shots is uncomfortable for him and it's worth the little extra money knowing that he isn't going to be stressed out by the trauma of the trip and neither will I!

Eyebrows McGee said...

One reason is that when Jack did once have a home examination, he found it nearly as stressful -- and no shots were involved.

But the two primary reasons are:
First, because Orange Cat has diabetes, he requires specialized care and certain tests that must be performed in the office when he receives his check-up (periodically he even has to stay there for several hours for glucose monitoring that has to be accomplished on-site); and

Second, that I am so happy with my vet I am not willing to seriously consider changing vets without some major upheaval forcing me to. Our vet's office has a vet on staff with great expertise in diabetic cats; they were spectacular and super-helpful and supportive through the entire initial period of getting Orange Cat regulated on his insulin (including regular cuddles and comforting from the vet techs for my poor sick cat when he had to stay at the vet hospital for several days to get his diabetes under crontrol); they faxed ALL my test results and information as soon as it came in to my aunt who is a cat specialist in Georgia so I could get a second opinion (and family support) making the decisions about diabetes treatment; and they're the first vets who've taken me seriously when I've warned them that Grey Cat is going to try to rip their heads off and have taken appropriate precautions. Others haven't taken me seriously until someone is already bleeding.

Jeep2000 said...

LOL!! The Poops for Spite sticker comment got me!
Our dog used to be fine going to the vet, until she got to be about three years old, and, coincidentally, the first time I took her alone, peed on the waiting room floor. Fun times.

Jennifer said...

Our dog pees on the floor everytime. Ugh. But it doesn't seem to be out of fear, but out of excitement over all the fabulous doggy friends, doggy odors, etc.

GardenAuthor said...

When I finally stopped laughing, I read this to my mom, over the phone - at last check, she was still laughing! I have had, and continue to have, a motley assortment of four-legged characters, who allow me to share their abode. Your tales have the ring of truth and mirror some of my experiences with cats. (Never had any untoward vet behavior or unexpected waiting room leakage from any of my dogs.) Suzy-Q and Miss Kitty had overlapping lifespans, much to my chagrin and the delight of my vet. Let's just say, there were leather gaunlet gloves involved on exam day.

Anonymous said...

this made my day. I work at a vet office and see this kind of thing all day long, but most often the clients don't have a very good sense of humor about it. this is awesome@!