Friday, September 08, 2006

RERUN: Condemented

My husband believes condiments are actual foods. Entire food groups, even. I live in a household where, "Hey, want some bread with that butter?" is an actually legitimate question. My husband butters toast the way other people do drywall. First, all holes, nooks, and crannies in the toast must be spackled solid with butter, so the toast has a uniform top surface. Then he must spread a thick layer of butter over top ("mudding" the wall) so it has a uniform appearance. The butter must stretch to all corners and leave no portion of bread visible.

Condemented

4 comments:

Silence NoGood said...

Yes, butter...is indeed to be equally spreaded on toast to make our wives 7 wheat or spelt bread edible. The dilemma I have is that my wife buys alot of great healthy organic food products that for the most part taste great. But, spelt bread is my enemy...I do have to put a hearty spread of smart balance on my bread to force it down my throat.

Silence NoGood said...

Look at you, Mrs. Publicity...You recieved a nice plug on wtvp about a misunderstanding of Jonathan Ahl's comment on garden vegetables from Billy Dennis. That was pretty funny...they were talking about your eggplants and stuff.

Emtronics said...

Butter? What's butter? The stuff I get, "You can't believe its Butter" is just that. I think its one molecule away from plastic.

Eyebrows McGee said...

ooooh, I was on wtvp? I wish I'd been here! someone tell me more!