Tuesday, July 18, 2006

This Is What True Love Looks Like

Since my allergies are the limiting factor in our acquisition of a dog, I went in to get allergy tested today. As I've written before, needles freak me out, to the point where I had minor hysterics when I had to learn to give Orange Cat his shots. It's not the sharp poking of it or anything; it's the part where something is partway in your skin. That TOTALLY wigs me. I can't watch people get stitches very well, either (when Mr. McGee had to have a dozen stitches on a deep cut in his shoulder, the doctor threatened to make me leave because I looked so sick). When I was growing up it was a big thing to stick safety pins under the top layer of skin on your fingers, where you can't actually feel it, but just SEEING other people with that made me want to scream. Ditto IVs when I can see where they go under the skin.

Anyway, so I went to get allergy testing today, which involved FORTY-NINE NEEDLES making scratches on my back (47 allergens and 2 controls), which wasn't awful because I couldn't SEE them, but which hurt like a mofo when they do it right next to your spine.

This was followed up by TEN ACTUAL INJECTIONS in my arm, which I COULD see, and which almost sent me into hysterics. I managed to retain control, primarily by babbling to the nurse about how fear of the violation of bodily boundaries, such as skin, is one of the primary human fears, which is why it appears in virtually every holy book as a big clean/unclean issue ... I don't think she cared, but I managed not to completely freak out. She did suggest, however, when she left me alone for fifteen minutes to develop the itchy bumps, that if I passed out (apparently I was white as a ghost and still shaking), I try to fall loudly enough that she'd hear me and come rescue me.

This is what true love looks like, people: FIFTY-NINE NON-MANDATORY NEEDLES IN ONE DAY.

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