Thursday, June 15, 2006

Why AT&T Sucks, As Does My Week

Eyebrows awakens slightly as Mr. McGee slips (well, thunks) out of bed at 5 a.m.:

Good Wife Eyebrows: He has a very stressful court case this morning he's probably preparing for. I should get up and make him breakfast.

Bad Wife Eyebrows: Or, I could roll over and go back to sleep.

(Bad Wife Eyebrows won, at least for 45 minutes. Stupid insomnia.)

Which leads me neatly to my point of the day: The world is full of people who either rock or suck. Most people are a mix of rocking and sucking, but clearly lean in one direction or the other. Sometimes entire groups of people rock, like when a whole town turns out to donate blood. Sometimes entire groups of people suck, like people who riot after sports games, or FEMA.

This week, virtually every single person I have dealt with has SUCKED. A lot of this week has been small- to medium-sized sucking, like the bagger who refused to bag (and put canned goods in with my eggs!), or the client who doesn't want to pay, or the aphids on my bean plants who are not technically people but still suck. Lot of things like that.

The big super-craptistic suckingness that sort-of crowns the Week of Suck was this AT&T customer service person yesterday. AT&T has made an error concerning my yellow pages ad that I won't go into here, but suffice to say it is not an inexpensive error for me, and whether they honestly bungled or deliberately misled me, the error is their fault. So I called customer service, got nowhere, and got passed up the line to more superior supervisors until I ran into

THE SUCKIEST CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON OF ALL TIME.

She STARTED OFF the conversation by talking over me and interrupting me repeatedly. (At one point in the conversation she actually said, "Okay, now you can talk," after interrupting me over and over and talking louder and louder so I couldn't say anything.) Further in, she informed me I was a bad lawyer, implied I was illiterate, and accused me of lying. She kept at this until I actually started crying.

Sample conversational snippet:
me: "blah blah blah, so the contract says X."
her: "Our contracts are governed under North Carolina law, so that doesn't apply."
me: "Um, my contract says right on it that the choice of law is Illinois."
her: "No it doesn't."
me: "Yes it does."
her: "No, it DOESN'T. It says North Carolina."
me: "No, it says Illinois in article ##. I have it right in front of me. My contract is from before the AT&T/SBC merger. I don't know if you've changed your contracts since then, but mine is governed under Illinois law according to the contract."
her: "No it isn't."
me: "That's what it says!"
her: "No, I'm sorry ma'am, but it does not say that."
me: "Well, fine, then under North Carolina law, X is still true."
her: "No, it isn't. In North Carolina you're not allowed to do X in contracts."
me: "YES YOU ARE! I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL IN NORTH CAROLINA!"
her: "Then you must not understand the law very well."
me, incredulous and wildly offended: "Excuse me, but are you a lawyer?"
her: "No I'm not, ma'am, but even an idiot knows X."

I am still so angry I have not yet decided how to handle this mass of utter suck. Certainly an incredibly irate letter to AT&T is going to be involved, but I haven't decided if the amount of money involved makes it worth my effort to sue, and I haven't decided if I will cancel my phone and high-speed DSL services. (My alternative for high-speed access is not a good one. Which is another thing that sucks: monopolies and lack of local competition.)

So ends my Symphony of Suck for this week - I hope. I'm not sure I can handle any more suck!

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5 comments:

Mahkno said...

You got your towel... so it can't be all bad.

Angie said...

WOW. Are you sure you weren't talking to my health insurance company? At least I know I'm not the only one. Rude people suck.

Anonymous said...

I once got charged $150.00 on my phone bill for AOL. Phone company said they could not remove item as they did not bill it. AOL said they would not remove item as someone from my home had clearly signed up for AOL and thus it was a legal bill. I made it clear that I was single and it someone had signed up from my phone they were clearly a burgler who took nothing, simply broke in and signed up for truelly expensive AOL service. I ask for the date and time, as well as the name used on the account so I could call and file a police report on the AOL burgler and was told that do to privacy concerns they could not release that information to me, even though it was my phone. I still want to scream when I think of this. They know that they can screw with you, charge you whatever they want, and make you pay. Phone companies and AOL suck!!!

Anonymous said...

It's not just the phone company. It's corporate infallibility.

pollypeoria said...

Eyebrows,

Okay, I know this is not the good Catholic/Christian mature, well balanced thing to do, but I don't care. Make this DINGBAT pay!!!

Come on! There has to be some lawyer type consumer fraud summons and complaint type paper you could throw at this weenie. You know, something that might make this dingbat's supervisior say, "Sorry, Dingbat, but you are just too much of a liability to keep around." Please, please, please do something. Don't be mature and get over it, because the rest of us who would have to pay by the hour to sue can't do so and have to put up with asswipes like this one constantly. (Insight customer here.) I know your time is money, but this b*tch needs to be put in her place and you are just the babe to do it. GO EYEBROWS!!! As extra motivation, the amount of my donation to the children's museum will depend on the witty way you make this wench regret messing with you.