Good Wife Eyebrows: He has a very stressful court case this morning he's probably preparing for. I should get up and make him breakfast.
Bad Wife Eyebrows: Or, I could roll over and go back to sleep.
(Bad Wife Eyebrows won, at least for 45 minutes. Stupid insomnia.)
Which leads me neatly to my point of the day: The world is full of people who either rock or suck. Most people are a mix of rocking and sucking, but clearly lean in one direction or the other. Sometimes entire groups of people rock, like when a whole town turns out to donate blood. Sometimes entire groups of people suck, like people who riot after sports games, or FEMA.
This week, virtually every single person I have dealt with has SUCKED. A lot of this week has been small- to medium-sized sucking, like the bagger who refused to bag (and put canned goods in with my eggs!), or the client who doesn't want to pay, or the aphids on my bean plants who are not technically people but still suck. Lot of things like that.
The big super-craptistic suckingness that sort-of crowns the Week of Suck was this AT&T customer service person yesterday. AT&T has made an error concerning my yellow pages ad that I won't go into here, but suffice to say it is not an inexpensive error for me, and whether they honestly bungled or deliberately misled me, the error is their fault. So I called customer service, got nowhere, and got passed up the line to more superior supervisors until I ran into
She STARTED OFF the conversation by talking over me and interrupting me repeatedly. (At one point in the conversation she actually said, "Okay, now you can talk," after interrupting me over and over and talking louder and louder so I couldn't say anything.) Further in, she informed me I was a bad lawyer, implied I was illiterate, and accused me of lying. She kept at this until I actually started crying.
Sample conversational snippet:
me: "blah blah blah, so the contract says X."
her: "Our contracts are governed under North Carolina law, so that doesn't apply."
me: "Um, my contract says right on it that the choice of law is Illinois."
her: "No it doesn't."
me: "Yes it does."
her: "No, it DOESN'T. It says North Carolina."
me: "No, it says Illinois in article ##. I have it right in front of me. My contract is from before the AT&T/SBC merger. I don't know if you've changed your contracts since then, but mine is governed under Illinois law according to the contract."
her: "No it isn't."
me: "That's what it says!"
her: "No, I'm sorry ma'am, but it does not say that."
me: "Well, fine, then under North Carolina law, X is still true."
her: "No, it isn't. In North Carolina you're not allowed to do X in contracts."
me: "YES YOU ARE! I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL IN NORTH CAROLINA!"
her: "Then you must not understand the law very well."
me, incredulous and wildly offended: "Excuse me, but are you a lawyer?"
her: "No I'm not, ma'am, but even an idiot knows X."
I am still so angry I have not yet decided how to handle this mass of utter suck. Certainly an incredibly irate letter to AT&T is going to be involved, but I haven't decided if the amount of money involved makes it worth my effort to sue, and I haven't decided if I will cancel my phone and high-speed DSL services. (My alternative for high-speed access is not a good one. Which is another thing that sucks: monopolies and lack of local competition.)
So ends my Symphony of Suck for this week - I hope. I'm not sure I can handle any more suck!
Want to rock? Donate to the Peoria PlayHouse through the Eyebrows McGee Challenge!