Monday, June 12, 2006

We're Hunting Wabbits!

I came home the other day to discover my neighbor (the scientist one) in the backyard with what I can only describe as a wrist-mounted slingshot, firing tiny steel pellets at rabbits. Or wabbits, since clearly Elmer Fudd was at work here.

"What are you DOing?" I asked.

"Keeping the rabbits out of my garden," he said as the slingshot twanged. "I'm not very good. (twang) I don't hit them, but it scares them. (twang) Wanna try?"

"Um, no."

Mr. McGee, however, did. As did every other man in the neighborhood. They were like friggin 8-year-old boys, chortling and politely asking, "May I have a turn?" But what they were REALLY wanting to say, in 8-year-old fashion, was, "MY TURN! MY TURN!" while laughing maniacally.

"That's the first step down the road to sociopathy," I pointed out, as various wives and I made disapproving noises and discussed how this was SUCH a man-thing to be doing.

They claimed it was not, as they were only firing at pests. Which I suppose is a good point, or every farmer in America would be a sociopath for protecting his crops. Although a point somewhat undermined by the CONSTANT GIGGLING as they fired those little BB-things at the poor but considerably stupid rabbits, which didn't know enough to get out of the damned yard but would hop a mere five feet away from the previous shot and get shot at again. When the rabbits did finally take the hint and leave the yard, all the men groaned with disappointment. "Is it coming back? I think it's coming back! Is that one in the bulbs?"

Men.

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Help bring out the child in everyone (in a less rabbit-unfriendly fashion) by donating to the Eyebrows McGee Peoria PlayHouse Challenge.

5 comments:

HeartShadow said...

I keep looking at that .. and I can't decide if I'm thinking that Mr. Shadow's gonna be sick he missed it, or jealous that I didn't get to play with the neat toy either.

Although I wouldn't have wanted to hit the wabbit. (unless it was in MY garden, in which case, hassenpfeffer!)

Labrys said...

Oh, now THAT is a giggle and a half!
My son had a wonderful wrist rocket---we never got to see him ping at rabbits, however. Round here, with hawks and the like to hunt them, they don't show up in daylight!

peoriaillinoisianswife said...

Where can you get one of those slingshots? I had the great experience of trying to scare three raccoons out of our back yard a couple of nights ago. The only quick and available "weapon" was one of my kid's bike helmets, and after I chucked it towards the closest coon, all three decided it was a toy and proceeded to mess around with it. One of them even climbed in it. Jeesch! The only way I finally found to get rid of them was to grab a flashlight and shine it in their beady little eyes. The ran under the back gate, but I'm sure just made it over to the neighbor's yard to see what good stuff was over there...

Eyebrows McGee said...

Slingshots are here: http://www.sausa.com/pp24.html

But my dad has had really good luck with squirrels and raccoons with a nerf gun (preferably one of the rapid-fire ones). The balls are easier to retrieve and easier to replace at your local toystore.

Did you have to replace the helmet?

peoriaillinoisianswife said...

I made the brave (ha-ha) hubby quickly go retrieve it. Didn't seem damaged, just had the cootie factor. I will disinfect with Lysol. Nerf toys might be a better solution to the roaming backyard pests, as I can see one of my wonderful kids shooting the slingshot at their brother/sister when annoyed. Don't need to lose any eyeballs.