Sunday, May 07, 2006

Scrub Toys

So the kid two doors down has a new bike, a Kawasaki this time. And a coordinating helmet. I don't know if that came with the bike or not.

This kid, as I have written before, is a scrub. He is my age (28), hasn't finished college, doesn't have a job, lives with his parents, and yet miraculously manages to afford - at my last count - at least six bikes in the last 18 months. Furthermore, as I complained before, he gets up at the ASS-CRACK OF DAWN on weekends, which no self-respecting slacker should do, and rides his bikes around the neighborhood. Sometimes he goes up and down the block, particularly when he has a brand new one. Sometimes he goes round and round, so I wake up to "VROOOOOOM! vrooooooom vroooom vrooom vroooOOOOOOM VROOOOOM! VROOOOM!!!!! VROOoooooom vrooooom vroooooom vroooOOOOOM!" and so on. Sometimes he actually has the good grace to leave the neighborhood, but only after he revs his bike five or six times in the driveway and then guns it like crazy to leave. When he borrows his parents car, he manages to gun that too. He revs a friggin Honda Accord like it's a racecar. Our bedroom windows face their driveway with nothing in between to muffle the sound, so I get to wake up to his motor symphony basically every weekend.

He is wrecking my quiet enjoyment.

So I don't want to call the cops because a) Peoria cops have better things to do, like chase down gang bangers and b) I don't want to be known on the block as the chick who calls the cops. (I'm a weenie, so sue me. Homeowner peer pressure is the only reason I mow my lawn.) But I can't decide how to handle it: Should I approach him? Or should I approach his parents? When the kids on the block ride their bikes through my yard or go ding-dong ditching, I speak with their mothers. But this "kid" is my age. But then, his parents are more like my peers, being homeowners on the block, and more likely to be swayed by shame to make him cut it the hell out. I'm guessing he's not really Mr. Responsible. On the other hand, how totally lame is it to go to the parents of someone who is, after all, a legal adult? Feels a little high school to go over his head and bitch to his mom when he and I are the same age and he's had 7 years to get used to the privileges and responsibilities of full legal adulthood.

I haven't yet come to any decision; I think I'm secretly living in hope that he'll just get bored of his bikes. Or move out. Or something.

But I'm curious to know if anyone else had a similar issue, and if you complained to the scrub, or to his parents!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How big is he and how big is Mr. McGee?

Seriously, get up on the next weekend morning that he's doing it and, looking as groggy and just-rolled-out-of-bed as possible, ask him to do it some other time or some other place. People who work during the week are trying to sleep! Who knows, he might not even realize he's disturbing others and be a nice guy about it. If he's not, approach other neighbors and ask them if it disturbs them as well. If any say yes, tell him that. If he persists, call the cops on his ass. You have rights too. Don't go to his parents. He's an adult, supposedly.

Anonymous said...

Eyebrows,
Your situation is an example of what is wrong with society today. Neighbors won't tell the neighbor kids to stop throwing rocks at cars, to turn down their music or to stop revving the damn cars or motorcyles as if they were the only person on the planet. Of course, the real blame lies with the parents who won't own up to the shortcomings of their kids, won't make the kids behave and will defend the dipsticks, 12 or 28, til their death.

You are a lawyer Eyebrows. Lawyers have a responsibility to attempt to do what is best for society in and out of the courtroom because you are trained and best equipped to communicate these things. Use your best judge/jury wit and charm and go persuade the kid to turn it off/down.