Sunday, May 14, 2006

Cat Help

There's a phrase in our house, coined by Mr. McGee, that when you're doing something trying to help, but it's actually making things worse, this is Cat Help, named for Grey Cat, who always wants to help with things because (as noted before) he believes he is people and doesn't realize he has no opposeable thumbs. The phrase was coined during patio-laying, when Mr. McGee was kneeling down, hard at work, and I decided to come drape myself on his back to hug him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm helping!"

"That's not help. That's Grey Cat help!"

I was cat helping again the other day, when he was cooking and I, trying to be helpful, kept putting utensils he hadn't finished with in the dishwasher and ingredients he had yet to use back in the fridge. I ended up banished from the kitchen for all my cat help.

Last night I agreed to play board games with Mr. McGee. I really don't like board games, and he really does, so on rare occasions I agree to play. We got out Monopoly (the horror!), set up the board, and proceeded to play.

Or try to.

Grey Cat saw no reason why he should not also participate, and proceeded to steal our little characters. We gave him his own to play with (the dog one, of course), and he left our dudes alone after that. But he could NOT let the dice alone. After all, we were throwing the dice and making them roll and bounce, and he could do that too. Every time we rolled he'd peek his head up and swipe one of the dice off the table. He had the most injured look on his face when we reprimanded him repeatedly because he was just doing what we were doing! He really gets miffed by people games that he can play too and we won't let him. Like puzzles - he can dig around in the box just like we do, and he's an EXPERT at pushing the pieces around on the table. It's the best cat-game ever, and he has no idea why we keep yelling at him for imitating us.

We gave up on Monopoly after a while because we just couldn't keep the dice away from Grey Cat (who was joyously tossing his little game piece around the room, attacking it and swatting it) and tried Scrabble. This went less-well, if possible, because Grey Cat would not be content with just ONE tile. He wanted to push the tiles around on the board like we were doing, which wasn't really conducive to keeping the words in word format. Too much cat help.

And yet I can't train him to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Learn to imitate that, you ridiculous cat!

1 comment:

Tony said...

I feel the same about board games in general, but especially Monopoly. I will not play it with my wife when we are alone because it brings about marital troubles. I will also only play it in groups of odd numbers to avoid the inevitable team play.

Maybe I could keep you on retainer as a divore lawyer if I do ever agree to play the game with her alone.