Sunday, March 19, 2006

Devolving

In our house, we say, "I've devolved," when we mean that we've changed from work clothes into beating-around-the-house clothes. For us, this typically means sweatpants, jogging pants, pajama pants, T-shirts with a hole in the armpit, that adorable top from two years ago with the bleach stain, the sweater so worn you can't leave the house in it but so comfortable you can't throw it out ... you know, the kind of clothes you wear around the house when you don't plan to leave or have anyone but the mailman appear at the door.

Devolving is a way of saying, "My day is done, from here on out I'm reading a book or watching TV and don't expect my ass to move from this couch." Sometimes my husband will work late and call to ask if I want to join him and some work friends at a local bar and I say, "Shoot, I already devolved." Then I have to decide if I want to go out badly enough to get re-dressed in socially-acceptable clothes. (My current devolving clothes are so bad that I hesitate to go to the pharmacy in them unless I show active indications of being sick, when it's socially acceptable to look like that in public.)

So the other night our neighbors came by the house and knocked to ask us if we wanted to go hit the bars with them.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, we've already devolved!" I said, without thinking that this was an odd, in-family phrase.

Man-neighbor's eyes lit up like a five-year-old's: "You've devolved? Is Mr. McGee a puddle of amoebic goo?"

"Yes," I deadpanned. "Yes he is."

Man-neighbor claimed to be very disappointed when he saw Mr. McGee was still in his mammalian state and had not, in fact, regressed to an invertebrate state.

His wife backhanded him in the chest.

1 comment:

Labrys6 said...

I love it!! I don't ever "evolve" some days. On the rare Saturday that I don't have to shop or do yard work, my pajamas and robe remain the "wear of the day" clear until bedtime. It does make it handy, occasionally, when the JWs drop by (a VERY rare event at my house) and stutter, "Oh, did I wake you?"

"Yes," I can snap, faking a yawn, "Yes, you did." right before closing the door. But it really takes large quantities of beer to reduce me to amoebic condition, so I think my mammalian state is safe!