Thursday, February 09, 2006

Burp.

My Super Bowl-induced buffalo wing binge being over, I am back to "eating healthy," by which I mean "actively dieting." In the past it was mostly about, you know, eating whole grains and broccoli and other things my husband refuses to eat unless I find some way to add refined white sugar to them, but this time I'm actively dieting. My butt misses its favorite pants.

This is the first time in my life I've ever really tried to diet to lose weight, so it's a new experience for me, and I'm afraid I'm becoming very boring. All I think about is the food I'm not eating and how hungry I am, so that's all I want to talk about. And blog about, apparently. It doesn't get bad until midafternoon, at which point my body is so desperate for me to start mainlining dairy products that I start threatening to gnaw on my husband and/or the cats if they don't stay out of my way. (Hunger makes me cranky.)

Part of the problem is my body only has two settings: "Finished eating within the last 90 minutes and nicely full" and "Ravening bear just awoken from hibernation." I'm either just done eating, or I'm so hungry I feel like I might faint. There's no in-between, and certainly no gradual building of hunger that says, "Hm, I should make dinner." No, my entire life I've gone straight from "La-dee-dah, life is good" to "OH MY GOD SHOVE SOMETHING DOWN MY GULLET NOW MY ORGANS ARE EATING EACH OTHER AND I'M GOING TO DIE." This leads to bad food choices.

The most interesting part of dieting, though, is that I'm suddenly burping all the time. I have NEVER been capable of burping, even when I really NEED to burp. I tried for years to learn, from my brothers, how to burp on cue by swallowing air. I just gave myself a stomachache. Even when I do let loose a burp, it's always tiny and inaudible. Now, suddenly, I'm burping every 30 seconds. Audibly. Constantly. Sometimes impressively. I googled "diet burp" to find out about this phenomenon (because I believe google has the answer to all things), but all I got were results on eliminiating things from your diet to stop your burping problem. Nothing about eliminating food from your diet STARTING a burping problem. So I guess I'm the first. Hopefully other dieters in the world who burp while dieting will google "diet burp" and discover my blog entry and know that THEY ARE NOT ALONE.

3 comments:

Kenunn-TheDieter said...

FIRST off, every word you have said is exactly my situation. First time dieter, 2 hunger settings (ravenous, or stuffed), can't talk about anything else, the works. And of course.... I just googled "dieting + burps" and this was the 1st hit. I had been calling them "the empty stomach burps." No impressive burping here, just an extra, totally unecessary reminder every 30 seconds, that i'm hungry. (not helpful.) I'm a junior in college studying dietetics and I have honestly never heard of this stuff. My best guess is the enzymes and stomach acid and other natural tummy goo are all arguing cause they have nothing to do. Cabin fever. You know? My second hypothesis is the extensive amount of water i've added to my diet, (to help curb the hunger.) Perhaps i'm swallowing a lot of air with this new drinking a gallon a day deal... Sorry I couldn't be more help! Good luck with the diet! (I'm 4 lbs. in!)

Anonymous said...

I also googled the burping phenomena and your article was my first hit! I'm also on a diet and I just seem to be burping air all the time, and thought I'd google it to get an answer! Google's meant be the know-all tell-all answer to every single conundrum on the planet, but apparently diet burping's got it beat!

By the way I'm writing this at 8am after a sleepless night with a pounding hunger headache, spent running to the loo every hour because of all the darn water I'm drinking to 'cleanse my system & fill up my stomach' Now all i want is a lovely warm croissant with my coffee! Sigh!!!

Anonymous said...

Completely on the same page as the above - I have been eating less carbs, more veggies and some dairy, and have incorporated exercise back into my diet. I feel as though my body has no idea what's going on and I am either starving or completely full after a measly veggie plate. And I also am burping- mostly in the AM after working out.