Sunday, December 11, 2005

I Have Out-Shopped My Feet

I think my shopping gene is on the fritz because I actually ran out of energy while shopping. This is a problem because a) I like shopping and b) it's the holidays and I have forty friggin' relatives to buy presents for. I thing the gene failure has to do with all this "simple living" crap my husband and I have been doing, acquiring less junk and all that. Well, also maybe the fact that I can now acquire junk from the comfort of my own computer and have it delivered to my door.

I discovered my shopping gene was on the fritz when I went to the mall today with Mr. McGee, because I had a wave of nostalgia today about how fun shopping during the holidays is.

Only it isn't.

Now I remember why I went to doing all my holiday shopping online: Other shoppers are ANNOYING, and the holidays bring out all the amateur shoppers who walk too slow, have inferior stroller-control skills, and really don't deserve the last Pfaltzgraff Winterberry gravy boat because they're just shopping at Christmas. It's like the people who take the good pews in church when they only show up for Christmas and Easter. It's just bloody unfair to those of us who make the year-long commitment to shopping. Or, you know, Jesus. Or both, and try really hard not to suffer any cognitive dissonance about it.

But I forgot about all of that, so I shopped today, and I out-shopped my feet. My husband and I had both just about run out of gift ideas, I in shopping for him, my parents, his parents, my three siblings, my grandparents, my other visiting relatives, our mutual friends, his secretary, and doing all our Christmas cards; he in shopping for, well, me. (This is one of those sitcom aspects of our marriage. He was perfectly capable of buying his mother gifts on his own, until he got married. It's like he downloaded all non-wife gift-related information for all occasions into my brain and no longer feels obligated to access that part of his programming.) So we went to the stores and picked out our own stocking presents, then -- here's the crucial part -- had the other person run the credit card on it. (The same credit card, mind you -- but I ran the card for the presents he picked out for himself, and he ran it for mine.)

So you understand why I will be so surprised -- nay, shocked! shocked! -- when I open my stocking gifts on Christmas night. I mean, I've never, never seen that watch before! What a great idea, sweetie! You know my taste so perfectly!

1 comment:

Robin said...

I haven't even got half my shopping done... I'm so lazy. I must enjoy the hoards of rude frantic last-minute holiday shoppers... the long lines... the crowded parking lot... the lunitics on the roads...

Hope you have a fantastic Christmas Lola!