Friday, September 09, 2005


You know those little reflections of light that bounce off your watch, or ring, or bracelet, or hand-held mirror, or shiny metal object? On the wall, bright as mini-suns, that you can make dance everywhere just by moving your wrist a little?

Growing up, my siblings and I always called those "Zizzy-Zazzies." I don't know why. My parents certainly didn't call them that. But we coined the term "Zizzy-Zazzy" and we got very excited whenever we created a zizzy-zazzy, making it run all over the room and onto one another's faces. The best zizzy-zazzies were, of course, mom's, because she had a diamond ring and diamond rings will make a million tiny rainbow-colored stars all over the walls and ceiling if the sun hits them right. But we could make our little sunshines with watches, mirrors, toys, and all kinds of things.

The other day I was sitting at my desk working, and noticed a strange zizzy-zazzy on the wall in front of me. My desk is half up against a window, half against a wall. The monitor is off to my left in front of the wall, so I can look away out the window to think deep thoughts and watch birds do obscene things. The zizzy-zazzy was above my monitor, quivering but looking oddly sluggish, and with amorphous, ill-defined edges, which is strange - usually zizzy-zazzies are bright and sharp.

I examined my hands - no rings, no watch, no bracelets. No shiny buttons. No hair clips. Necklace tucked under shirt. I couldn't find a single thing on me that was creating the zizzy-zazzy, but since it was moving, I knew it had to be me. I wasted a good ten minutes searching my body for shiny metal things and moving one body part at a time, to see if it moved the zizzy-zazzy. The zizzy-zazzy kept jiggling whenever I moved, but only a little bit. Nothing I moved seemed to make it move out of place or do more than jiggle.

Finally, I discovered the source:

I am just that pale.

Yes, my forehead, with hair pulled back into a ponytail, sun shining right in the window onto my face, and a slight sheen of sweat from the humidity of the day, had turned into such a powerfully reflective surface that I was actually creating a zizzy-zazzy with it.

Conan O'Brien claims that he's so pale that when he takes his shirt off at the beach, people go blind.

Conan O'Brien has NOTHING on me and my forehead zizzy-zazzy! I now actually have the power to direct beams of light at people who annoy me. Mwah ha ha ha ha! That's what they'll get for making fun of my natural deathly pallor! A zap from the forehead zizzy-zazzy ray of blinding light. Mwah ha ha ha ha! Tremble! Tremble before my pale-ness!


Robophish said...

when did we ever call them zizzy zazzies?

Anonymous said...

When did we ever call them zizzy zazzies?

Eyebrows McGee said...

Before you were born, oh youngest one.