Friday, August 05, 2005

Door! And Other Observations

So yesterday I was busy pondering how I had just burned my stomach on a hot frying pan (shirt crept up while leaning over the stove), and I managed to walk face-first into my glass storm door.

It was all my poor husband could do not to explode with glee.

"You and the birds," he said. "It's you and the birds."

I can't help it. I'm just that kind of clumsy.

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The massive drought - wherein enormous bands of thunderstorms moving across the entire state split over Peoria County and join back together once they pass us, like some kind of Bugs Bunny rainstorm - means that my plants are doing poorly, but the crabgrass is going gangbusters. It's so bad I may have to call one of those grass-poison places, where they come dump horrible chemicals on your lawn to make it green.

We've actually lost our patio to the weeds. They've completely taken over. I have no control whatsoever. The uprising has won. The Weed Coup of 2005 has been successful.

Meanwhile, my poor herbs are all dead, a combination of it being so hot and dry that they required watering three times a day in their pots (which I quickly gave up on) and of Evil Cat's depredations. Evil Cat is a neighborhood semi-stray who LOVES my yard. We named him Evil Cat because when we moved in, he took particular joy out of tormenting my cats through the windows and making them get all big and poofy and hissy. Well, he eats all my catnip, and to get to the pot, which is a large one, he climbs up all my other herbs. Which he sometimes tastes on his way to the catnip.

And speaking of Backyard Wild Kingdom, there's a pair of bunnies out my window right this very second doing it like, well, bunnies.

I think I need a dog.

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The regulator on my car window broke. It happened to a different window earlier in the year; now it's my back right window that's broken. I taped it up about three weeks ago with packaging tape, and have managed to not yet get to the dealer to have it repaired. Fixing regulators costs a lot. And the thing is, it makes me feel more secure when my car is a little ghetto. I mean, who's going to steal a car that looks like crap? What kind of stereo could possibly be in that kind of car?

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I have wanted a scooter for ages. It's just cool on so many levels. My friend down the street has acquired a yellow-and-white one, and we've decided I have to get one so we can start a scooter gang. I've already given her her gang name: Banana Cream Pie. We'll be the coolest people at the motorcycle bar.

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