Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Eyebrows Returns!

Hey Eyebrows fans. Things have been busy here at the McGee household, with an ill Eyebrows, an ill cat, and ill car (thanks, Illinois State Tollway Authority!) ... and now all the Christmas madness. So I apologize for my long absence, but I'm back now. Swear. Promise. Cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-my- ... ew, never mind.

Well, I love Christmas and I'm a long-time early shopper. I've been in school so long - in college and grad school the last 8 years - that I'm used to having finals from Thanksgiving until a week before Christmas, so if I don't shop early, I don't get it done. This year, I finished before Thanksgiving (*pause while Eyebrows ducks the tomatoes from those who are still shopping*). This enabled me to avoid the crowds and the craziness - although since I'm approximately a 3/4 time housewife right now, left me DEAD BORED in the weeks leading up to Christmas with nothing to do.

But I did get my own little taste of Christmas craziness today. I went to the supermarket because a) I need dried cherries to make chocolate-cherry chunk bread for Christmas and b) I had all these great high-value coupons that expire at the end of the year that I wanted to use up! ($2 off cat food is like GOLD when both of your cats are over 15 lbs and go through those bags like a fat kid with candy. Or a fat cat with, you know, cat food.)

So the supermarket was busy, but not angry. Most people were cheerful and polite - Christmas spirit and all that. The lines at checkout were quite long, but people were patient and I saw several let others with small baskets go in front of them. Then as I was getting in line - not a particularly short one, mind you, just another line - a woman decided that THAT was the line she HAD to be in. Exactly that instant. So she actually tries to RUN ME OVER WITH HER CART. Literally. I had never seen such a thing before outside movies, but she was so determined that she was going to beat me to the line that she was literally willing to run into my body (which was already IN the line) with her big-ass full cart. (I had, allow me to add, a grand total of 19 items in my mostly-empty cart - not exactly shopping for a battalion here.)

Her daughter yelled at her and attempted to apologize to me (I just stepped away and found a different line - it doesn't pay to argue with crazy people, they like to throw things.), but angry-mom-with-the-cart loudly proclaimed that she'd been WAITING and WAITING (which was why she'd JUST come up to the lines, clearly?) and nobody was getting in front of her. She berated her daughter, the harried checker, and pretty much everyone else in earshot while she waited in line. That's the Christmas spirit for you! Oy humbug.

The line I ended up in, by the way? Faster than hers. And I didn't have to threaten bodily harm to other shoppers to get on the end of it.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a ... safe grocery store trip.


Samantha said...

WooHoo! An update! I got hooked on your blog after you stopped updating! I've seen people like that in the grocery store before. I especially love the line hoppers. The ones who switch from line to line because of check writers and such, then they end up standing in various lines for twice as long as it would have taken them in the first one. :rolls eyes:

Spudart said...

thanks for post a link to my "why we like to throw things page"